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today i did a bit of thinking out loud and ranted about vulnerability and honesty. talking about what it is to vulnerable with someone and what people are really asking for when the ask for vulnerability from men. i think people want honesty instead of vulnerability, they think that vulnerability automatically comes with honesty but that’s argument for another day. i talked about Taylor Sheridan and the run he’s going on with yellowstone 1883 and 1923, definitely recommend you watch them if you haven’t. the characters he writes are just awesome so i have a few things to say about that. and the importance of dreaming
tracklist
wish the wind would blow me by bob schneider
sierra leone by frank ocean
sweet life by frank ocean
pyramids by frank ocean
lost by frank ocean
fade into you by mazzy star
the birthday and death of the day by explosion in the sky
welcome, ghosts by explosion in the sky -
i don’t care if you don’t like me, the world doesn’t like me. and when you have nothing to lose.. you have everything to gain.
I’ve endure a pain that was unnecessary and unfair but that’s the way of the world. what i am going to do about it? complain. yeah, a little bit because were all human and flawed and even a warriors shield has cracks in it after battle. but what makes man great is that we push through. even when there’s no chance for survival. a lesson i wish i would’ve of learned a long time ago. you don’t let the pain consume you and take the reins. you stare it in the mirror, down your beer and get back to work ’til you fail again and again and again. ’til your knees are weak and you back is sore. that’s what separates the greats from the ordinary, from cowboys from the cow pokes. “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” -William Shakespeare
And the only thing in the way of greatness is me. I’ve always said if I could get out of my own way.. I’d be great but I wasn’t that I was in my own way it was that I didn’t know. I didn’t have the information I didn’t know what more to give given the limitation that were given to me. I bare the weight of the world on these shoulders and the weight of society in my mind. The only choice I have is to be great because for some reason I was chosen.. and these blessing have been bestowed upon me. So the question isn’t why me? But why not?
Greatness can be given but respect must earn. Hard work and hard times are just apart of any man’s story. And the only thing promised is death. a warrior’s dreams and a warrior’s nightmare.
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i’ve came across dasia on instagram a few months ago when she was talking about the surviving capitalistic nihilism. the clip she’d posted peaked my interested and stopped me from doom scrolling long enough to decide this is a message i want more of. instantly went to youtube and sat through the hour long video essay she had made and have continued to watch her videos whenever they come across my feed. today this video popped out and i had some time to check out her thoughts on privatization of public goods and service. giving an in depth look what privatization has done for americans over the years. i think it’s good food for thought
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tracklist
that way ft. Jeremih & rick ross by wale
next to you by Erykah badu, the alchemist
little things you do by double
same ol mistake by rihanna
not fair by leon Thomas
party favors by leon Thomas
summertimes in that cutlass by nipsey hussle
when i come around by dom kennedy
chill baby by sza
special by sza
you ft. lil wayne by Lloyd
fun! by vince staple
life is beautiful by larry June, 2 chainz, the alchemist
Spider-Man superman by partynextdoor, drake
smuckers ft. lil wayne, kanye west ft. tyler the creator
lagrimes by bilin gang, boobassking, dahian el apechao
chambonea – live version by omega
Agosto by bad bunny
callaita by bad bunny, tainy
pero tu by karol g
el jefe by Anthony santos -
Darkness has always been my friend. You’ve comforted me through many nights of tears. Youve extended the days where joy was feeling and not a distant memory. I look forward to stars looking down on me with pity and when moon teases me with her curves. I can’t help but stare until morning.
When I drive home from the bar, I stop by the airport to share a cigarette with you while the world sleeps. You never say much but I’ve never much of a talker myself.
I cant sleep if it’s me you and stranger in my bed.
Remember when I cried on Christmas night listening to Coltrane? The streets were glowing green and red from the stoplight. I thought, “what am I doing out here?” I thought of everyone at home with their families sleeping. And yet I felt empty in mine. So drove another hour looking for love.
You lived inside of me since.. since the beginning when I would get lashes for not knowing how to read, and father had a bad day at work.
Since I decided I’d go out in blaze of glory if the pain never stopped.
Since painkillers and marijuana found a place on my shelf when you were more than I could handle.
I’ve somehow found meaning in you. That life is suffering. And darkness maybe the only twilight through it all. When the world stops and the phone dies and television turns off. You hold me close like a mother wolf.
My eyes dilate when you come around every night to put me to bed. My heart calms to know you’re only a few moments away. The last thing I see, the last thing I’ll see. I’ve enjoyed our time together and another night is more than enough for me.
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Watching America lost its way as billionaire and corporations buyout your local politicians, I think about how far we’ve fallen as a country. Not that we’re great to begin with morally but there was a sense that, given a fair shot you could make something of yourself. That there was a mist of honor that hovered over the grass in the morning. But it feels like words like honor and righteous have long fallen from the American vocabulary.
A few weeks ago I came across an old Joe Rogan clip from when he sat down with comedian Ali Siddiq, where Ali explains how a fight between two pimp taught him a value lesson in honor that’s stay with his life.
Honor use to be something I would hear in old kung fu or samurai movies but never truly understood what these righteous characters were talking about. I got the sense that the villains didn’t have respect or over stepped their power to bully people. That because they were able to bully the weak they would for nothing more than selfish reasons.
Today like the old kung fu movies we have the exact same plot on the political stage and everyone’s waiting for the golden boy to come and save us.
I’m not I’m going to wait around for someone to save me, I rather become what I want to see. I righteous man with honor and self respect for me and others.
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Burning in paradise 