Though some people might find the actions of Rodney Hinton Jr. unacceptable in today’s modern society, I believe he’s the anti-hero American needs right now. A black Father willing and ready to risk it all for this son, in an America that sees black men and women as conventional for the America way of life rather apart of it. There is a general sense of being made to feel that we are outsiders in our homeland and somehow we’ve been trespassing since inception. The sight of us warns, malice, unaware psychological hatred, disrespect any being on this earth in his right mind wouldn’t stand for. And some how, as a group, we haven’t seeked revenge.
How many people haven’t died at the hands of a police officer supposedly “protecting and serving” the community? We’re clearly not there community. Police departments have set up a business invoicing the lives of black men and women with damn near immunity, because nothing changes. Nothing changes but the name of the person being shot, or arrested, or being beaten half to death. And “punishments” are not enough to absolve the repeated habits of our public servants. Leaving the victims and their families with less than they had; less money, less family, less belief in the justice system, less love.
At some point America should’ve know there’d be a Rodney Hinton Jr. I’m sure I can find another man that killed a cop. But the way that Rodney Hinton Jr. did it had a little extra on. It feels honorable. Like a samurai hunting down the killer of teacher, it’s not just pure revenge. Someone that means the world to me was taken from me and the only way to repay him is kill his killer.
I was listening to The fast life garage while I was cooking, it tripped me out to listen to max schaaf and his view on how he approaches building bikes, the craftsmanship and how he approaches the business side of things. I know him from skateboarding, really falling in love with his personality after watching his epicly later’d. He seemed like a smart dude, passionate about skateboarding, opinionated. He has a point of view. He rubbed shoulders with some of skateboarding’s greats and still is cool enough to film the homie on the vert ramp.
Though he could probably make more money, making trendy shirts for his company 4Q and what not, he’s here for the bikes. When he got into his love for bikes years ago, it was a difficult journey figuring it out, banging his head across the wall. Taking courses, talking to people, and a little divine intervention, just chasing after, it got him here. Continuing to the old ways of sharing information and building relationships with people who actually know what the hell there doing out here. It’s not all business with him, how big corporation influenced us to believe it needs to be to have a successful business.
There are actual people behind these “products”.
His approach towards bike building and craftsmanship aren’t as money hungry. It’s passion first.
Listening to that got me fired up, it reminded me of why I do the things I do. Why I got into things in the first place. For me. To get me to tomorrow. It’s not about what the other guys think, whether he’s the elder on the block or the young buck. It’s about making something, anything that you can look at and be like, “fuck man, I made something cool with these two hands” I didn’t exist and now it does. Doing it the way you believe it should be done.
But it what tripped me out was that he’s authentically open minded, meaning he might not like someone approach towards bikes or whatever but he can recognized that guy or gal is just chasing the same thing he is. Maybe not in the same way, but to the best of their ability. He willing to admit he’s wrong even if he feels different personally.
You can’t change everyone to think the way you think. You just end up pigeon holding yourself.
Which today is a rare thing to come across. Most people feel a type of certain way about something and believe that it should be like that for everyone. As long as that person isn’t in your face about it, and even then, does it matter?
Shoutout to Max Schaaf, keep killing it!
i don’t care if you don’t like me, the world doesn’t like me. and when you have nothing to lose.. you have everything to gain.
I’ve endure a pain that was unnecessary and unfair but that’s the way of the world. what i am going to do about it? complain. yeah, a little bit because were all human and flawed and even a warriors shield has cracks in it after battle. but what makes man great is that we push through. even when there’s no chance for survival. a lesson i wish i would’ve of learned a long time ago. you don’t let the pain consume you and take the reins. you stare it in the mirror, down your beer and get back to work ’til you fail again and again and again. ’til your knees are weak and you back is sore. that’s what separates the greats from the ordinary, from cowboys from the cow pokes. “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” -William Shakespeare
And the only thing in the way of greatness is me. I’ve always said if I could get out of my own way.. I’d be great but I wasn’t that I was in my own way it was that I didn’t know. I didn’t have the information I didn’t know what more to give given the limitation that were given to me. I bare the weight of the world on these shoulders and the weight of society in my mind. The only choice I have is to be great because for some reason I was chosen.. and these blessing have been bestowed upon me. So the question isn’t why me? But why not?
Greatness can be given but respect must earn. Hard work and hard times are just apart of any man’s story. And the only thing promised is death. a warrior’s dreams and a warrior’s nightmare.
we’re neither good nor evil, were both good and evil. men don’t stand on one leg alone it’s the sun and the moon not the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other
I’ve been struggling with the idea of love in my life. whether i should focus on myself or whether let anyone into this chaotic minefield of life? part of me says that it isn’t fair to bring someone into my shit but the other half ask if i’m not deserving of love. and either way i hack it i can’t talk myself into believing one side more than the other. i do have a responsibility to deal with my issues and not pass them on to my future children, or dump them on my friends and family. Everyone has something going on and me yapping about my problems isn’t going to help theirs. i mean that’s what i thought friends were for, to talk out your issues but it’s been made clear to me that my issues need professional attention. which i partly agree with but that requires resources i don’t have or resources that would be better suited else where. i don’t know I’ve also never been good at spending money on myself, another issue of mine.
but with that being said i’m somewhat of a hopeless romantic. love is what I’ve wanted, since i was a child. watching stupid rom-coms and fucking Disney movies you can only hope that one day you’ll live happily ever after. that you’ll drive off into the sunset with the love of your life. fuck i hate the way that sounds when i say it out loud but it’s my sad reality. i want someone to share memories with and someone to tell me is going to be okay when it’s not. Someone to die for someone to fight for. someone’s hand to hold through it all.
but that shit doesn’t exist, at least not for people like me.
see my mind is sick and it has been for quite some time now. i thought i could get through to the other side. that all i had to do is just white knuckle it till a better day, to a better place but it’s getting worst. I’ve always been a bit on edge but this is probably the closest I’ve been to the edge. i think part of it just the situation i am in. sure my past has a lot to do with what i am today but if i can just get away from all this. maybe it’ll be a step in the right direction.
with all that i suppose to just welcome someone with open arms and what, give them a trigger warning? like hey i have a few screws loose. that’s not fair. i’m playing with load dices. and i can’t ask someone to love that. So i guess i go at it alone til.. i don’t know.. how much longer i have here. it’s a fucked situation i’m tired of being alone but simultaneously i understand why i am or why i should be. its just it a long dark road i walk everyday and every night on the way to own personal hell. and before it’s all said and done i just want to have matter to someone, you know? leave in impact and a story to be told and passed down if even for a generation.
this has been months of going back and forth, back and forth… i really don’t what to do…
Tyler sat down in london for an interview/panel discussion hosted by converse a few days ago. Tyler is a huge influence on me and was a huge influence for me to do my own thing no matter what other people think. From time to time i still need to be reminded. so when he drops an interview, i always make an effort to put my phone down and pay attention for a bit. today I thought maybe i’d be a good idea to take notes on what stands out to me so that i can better grasp and digest the ideas he sharing with us.
if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it
keep creating, and explore random ideas
your passions and your creations are your resume
if you like it, run with it. If people don’t understand it, it doesnt mean you’re wrong
you have the internet, use it
use what you have around you, you don’t need the best
have honest people around you, not yes men
1. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it
Tyler and the Clancys have been together since the very beginning. they signed tyler when bastard was taking over the internet and through out the years they’ve built and maintain a great relationship that allow tyler to flourish as an artist. they all have respect for each other and allow each other to play their role. the Clancys find ways to take tyler delusional ideas and package it for public consumption. they know how to differentiate between tyler’s storm of ideas and support the ones that he seem most passionate about. at anytime tyler could of found new manage and tried something new but he stuck with the guys that believed in him from the very beginning and that type of loyalty is hard to come by nowadays
2. keep creating, and explore random ideas
tyler has a lot of ideas, i mean a fuck ton of ideas. and the well never seems to run dry for him. but it’s because he explores ideas even if they don’t pan out to anything. he doesn’t go, “no stupid, i shouldn’t do that,” but rather goes, “this could be cool i wonder what will happen if i look into this.” i think that most of us creative may kill an idea in our mind before we even write it down, i know i’m guilty of it, and all that does it bring self-doubt. explore shit even if it may seem like a distraction for the moment, you might come back to it down the line.
3. your passions and your creations are your resume
tyler talked about how converse has so much trust in him and the things he makes. partly cause he can go back as far as 2011 and say these are my ideas and they’ve worked time and time again. he had success prior to partnering with converse and leverages that when he sit down with them to make new and creative ideas that executive may not understand. you have to bet on yourself before you expect others to bet on you.
4. if you like it, run with it. If people don’t understand it, it doesnt mean you’re wrong
this one kind of touches back on number 3. you have to like your ideas first. you have to be your first supporter. remember it you selling this idea at the end of the day so if you don’t believe in it, how can you expect others to do the same? think of something you like and follow through with it. just that experience alone with help you in building confidence for the next one.
5. you have the internet, use it
the internet is a powerful tool, but nowadays it’s just used to masterbait and waste time. you’re connected to everyone and just about everything if you know what you’re looking for. if you don’t know how to do, look it up on youtube or google it. I’ve even hear of people getting free course from harvard because they just have the information on the school website. the world is literally in your hands
6. use what you have around you, you don’t need the best
today must of us have a phone that can do just about anything you need it do. it can take pictures, record videos, record instruments and vocals. it has calendars, alarms, and connection to the internet. start with something simple and build your way up. I’ve definitely have talk myself out of some great ideas because i was worry about equipment quality and ended up killing an idea before i even explore it. and you don’t have to it all yourself. i’m sure that there’s people out there looking to explore these ideas with you. like a child with a sharpie and a white wall, get back to the basics and just create with what you have.
7. have honest people around you, not yes men
last but not least you got have people around you that are going to give it to you straight. that doesn’t mean that they have to shit on you or your ideas but someone that can tether you to reality if you ever drift off too far into creativity. it’s a delicate balance but when you find someone that can do that keep ’em around. some of us just have people that are killing our ideas as soon as the idea is vocalized. PROTECT YOUR IDEAS. work your ideas before even hinting that your working on something new. unfortunately dream killers love to shit on anything and everything because they can’t see themselves succeed so they don’t believe anyone around them.
but you also don’t want someone that just gasses you up to the moon every time you tie your shoes. these people are great when you’re having a bad day and you need someone to remind you who you are and what you’ve done but if they just want to see you happy they may not tell you want you need to hear all the time.
i use to think that killing was a bad thing, at least that was the way i was programmed or raised to believe. but i don’t think that it is as simple as good and bad. and i don’t think that killing is inherently evil. i believe that some people are too quick because they’re immature and/or lazy. and America as a whole has that apart of our ethic. the whole “shoot first ask, questions later” approach has brought forth a lot of unnecessary death. i understand if it’s a life or death situation, if your a soldier or you back is against the wall but it seems cowards will have the advantage and claim they were in fear for their life just so that the courts will justify their cowardice as valor.
i can respect a man that is slow to kill and understands the weight behind of pulling a trigger. a man that is tough without a gun, a man that will toss his gun to the side and fight with his hands.
but then there’s the other side. the guys that bought a gun and are looking for a reason. guys that wouldn’t kill with their hands. an ignorant man driven by fear and pride. a guy that’s never thrown a punch. guys that are male but not men. these people deserve hell and slow death. they belong with the abusers, the rapist, the ones that claim to be men and take from the weak and poor.
i don’t believe that everyone is built to face the death of another person. some of us need to be protected and contribute to community and society in different manners. but i think it’s important to know where you stand, can you protect yourself? could you kill someone if you had to and can you live with your decision to justifiability take another man life? and when i say justifiability i don’t mean the legal system saying it’s okay. i mean can you sit with that weight on your soul? if god takes you today, can you answer for your actions?
that’s the man, the father, the brother, the protector i work towards being. that’s a true killer. and i pray that you can either be that or have someone that can be that for you. because very few men are as honorable as they claim to be.
Everyday day and night my mind goes to war with itself. My thoughts are like the storming Normandy, my nerves are shellshocked, and fighting is the only thing I have to make it out of this nightmare. But even when I finally have a day, where I can relax, where I find peace, I search for war, I daydream of violence. It’s almost exciting. It’s almost as if I’m looking forward to for those moments.
It’s the rush of seasoned war veteran.
I’ve done oil my rifle and load my clips waiting to serve my country. I started fighting as child and I became a man with this gun in my hand. I can’t imagine living without it.
But after the wars and the battles, after the lost brothers and bruises. I don’t know what to do with my gun. I’ve brought back demons and memories and lost my innocence for the greater good. I paid the price for war in more than blood. My spirit no longer know the calms of river. It only knows the tides of ocean. The waves of a thunderstorms, the shine of lightning, the scorns of the gods.
The Morning sun loss a bit of its novelty every raise and nights are but a wrinkle in time from a life I can no longer reach for. And still I oil my gun and load my clips ready for my last and final war.
KAZMALOOP has interesting perspective on Vince Staples
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.”
This nihilist perspective has caught my interest, as I find myself somewhere between nihilism and pessimism. Everything around feels superficial or performative. No one wants to be honest while simultaneously no one can be. To truly be vulnerable is to show weakness, and if both our backs are against the wall the majority of people will exploit your weakness if it means they can be a step above you. No matter the relationship with the person. All relationships are power dynamics with an ever-shifting scale.
So what do you do when you think you have to be the toughest in the room if it means you’ll be at peace? You come into every room prepared for war, with a layer of armor so thick that not even you yourself can remove it. Ready to destroy anyone if they challenge or cross the line with you. Look at our music, look at our movies. Every character is a balancing act trying to appear sane amongst the insanity of the reality we participate in daily. No different from the people watching to escape their own reality.
There’s a cost to be free, it was I think Nietzsche is getting at. You can’t stare into the abyss and believe what you see as normal. The only way out is to know the abyss, without losing your sanity. To live in this duality, where what you know you are doing is wrong but it’s your means of survival. To be wrong and be alive at the cost of your sanity long enough to find peace.
Fuck man, every time i’m about to fall asleep I find a piece of internet gold that keeps me up for another few hours. I’ve been typing Max Schaaf’s name into a bunch of search boxes and abusing the infinite scroll. I found a couple of clips!
1. DicE Magazine did a little short on Max.
2. Vans x. 4Q(Max Schaaf) collab on a Sk8 mid. This is their commercial for it. Showing off his shop and the personal touches he did for the collab. I’m definitely going to add this song to my library.
3. Max Schaaf’s Non Fiction Part. In the Lone Skater article I wrote, Max talk about living in Oakland (in the video) and having a bunch of the neighborhood kids come by and just hang out with him at his mom’s place. You get to see some rad clips in this parts of some of the kids doing some fakie ollie on Max’s ramp. They probably had no idea who Max was in the skate world to them, to them he was just the crazy guy with a skatepark in his house across the street.
4. BIG HONGRY! I’ve been seeing Big Hongry on Thrasher and on Instagram, interviewing skaters and making music. Bro can really rap! From what I can piece together he owns and runs a shop in California somewhere. He seems to be plugged into the scene out there. Which is awesome because I haven’t seen many dude like him on the more rugged side of skating in the mix with big profile name. Shoutout to Big Hongry! But tonight I found his sit down with Max Schaaf on his podcast, Break Free. Him and Max talk about growing up with Jake, Phil Sato and bunch other names that do really get the commercial recognition but are legend in their own right. You had to be there to see it but if you didn’t see it people like Max mentioning their names pushes their legacy further into the spot light to get their just due. Max even gives an update on the kids from the last video in a full circle moment.
Burning in paradise 