Sunset by the marina.
“It’s all between the fire red morning sun and a golden sunset.”
welcome to burning in paradise
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i don’t care if you don’t like me, the world doesn’t like me. and when you have nothing to lose.. you have everything to gain.
I’ve endure a pain that was unnecessary and unfair but that’s the way of the world. what i am going to do about it? complain. yeah, a little bit because were all human and flawed and even a warriors shield has cracks in it after battle. but what makes man great is that we push through. even when there’s no chance for survival. a lesson i wish i would’ve of learned a long time ago. you don’t let the pain consume you and take the reins. you stare it in the mirror, down your beer and get back to work ’til you fail again and again and again. ’til your knees are weak and you back is sore. that’s what separates the greats from the ordinary, from cowboys from the cow pokes. “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” -William Shakespeare
And the only thing in the way of greatness is me. I’ve always said if I could get out of my own way.. I’d be great but I wasn’t that I was in my own way it was that I didn’t know. I didn’t have the information I didn’t know what more to give given the limitation that were given to me. I bare the weight of the world on these shoulders and the weight of society in my mind. The only choice I have is to be great because for some reason I was chosen.. and these blessing have been bestowed upon me. So the question isn’t why me? But why not?
Greatness can be given but respect must earn. Hard work and hard times are just apart of any man’s story. And the only thing promised is death. a warrior’s dreams and a warrior’s nightmare.
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i’ve came across dasia on instagram a few months ago when she was talking about the surviving capitalistic nihilism. the clip she’d posted peaked my interested and stopped me from doom scrolling long enough to decide this is a message i want more of. instantly went to youtube and sat through the hour long video essay she had made and have continued to watch her videos whenever they come across my feed. today this video popped out and i had some time to check out her thoughts on privatization of public goods and service. giving an in depth look what privatization has done for americans over the years. i think it’s good food for thought
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RADIO BNP101.X Episode 21: Heat Wave
tracklist
that way ft. Jeremih & rick ross by wale
next to you by Erykah badu, the alchemist
little things you do by double
same ol mistake by rihanna
not fair by leon Thomas
party favors by leon Thomas
summertimes in that cutlass by nipsey hussle
when i come around by dom kennedy
chill baby by sza
special by sza
you ft. lil wayne by Lloyd
fun! by vince staple
life is beautiful by larry June, 2 chainz, the alchemist
Spider-Man superman by partynextdoor, drake
smuckers ft. lil wayne, kanye west ft. tyler the creator
lagrimes by bilin gang, boobassking, dahian el apechao
chambonea – live version by omega
Agosto by bad bunny
callaita by bad bunny, tainy
pero tu by karol g
el jefe by Anthony santos -
Darkness has always been my friend. You’ve comforted me through many nights of tears. Youve extended the days where joy was feeling and not a distant memory. I look forward to stars looking down on me with pity and when moon teases me with her curves. I can’t help but stare until morning.
When I drive home from the bar, I stop by the airport to share a cigarette with you while the world sleeps. You never say much but I’ve never much of a talker myself.
I cant sleep if it’s me you and stranger in my bed.
Remember when I cried on Christmas night listening to Coltrane? The streets were glowing green and red from the stoplight. I thought, “what am I doing out here?” I thought of everyone at home with their families sleeping. And yet I felt empty in mine. So drove another hour looking for love.
You lived inside of me since.. since the beginning when I would get lashes for not knowing how to read, and father had a bad day at work.
Since I decided I’d go out in blaze of glory if the pain never stopped.
Since painkillers and marijuana found a place on my shelf when you were more than I could handle.
I’ve somehow found meaning in you. That life is suffering. And darkness maybe the only twilight through it all. When the world stops and the phone dies and television turns off. You hold me close like a mother wolf.
My eyes dilate when you come around every night to put me to bed. My heart calms to know you’re only a few moments away. The last thing I see, the last thing I’ll see. I’ve enjoyed our time together and another night is more than enough for me.
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A quick lesson in honor
Watching America lost its way as billionaire and corporations buyout your local politicians, I think about how far we’ve fallen as a country. Not that we’re great to begin with morally but there was a sense that, given a fair shot you could make something of yourself. That there was a mist of honor that hovered over the grass in the morning. But it feels like words like honor and righteous have long fallen from the American vocabulary.
A few weeks ago I came across an old Joe Rogan clip from when he sat down with comedian Ali Siddiq, where Ali explains how a fight between two pimp taught him a value lesson in honor that’s stay with his life.
Honor use to be something I would hear in old kung fu or samurai movies but never truly understood what these righteous characters were talking about. I got the sense that the villains didn’t have respect or over stepped their power to bully people. That because they were able to bully the weak they would for nothing more than selfish reasons.
Today like the old kung fu movies we have the exact same plot on the political stage and everyone’s waiting for the golden boy to come and save us.
I’m not I’m going to wait around for someone to save me, I rather become what I want to see. I righteous man with honor and self respect for me and others.
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mio in the shore
over the weekend as i was surfing the web, i came across a still image with a quote at the bottom. i read the quote and for whatever reason, the quote stuck a chord in me. i looked a little deeper and found that the image was actually a screen grab for a movie called, mio on the shore. thats usually enough for me to check out a strange movie.
so i found it online and watched it over two days.
the main character is 20 year old mio, who is super reserve and rarely speaks. super timid, even if she’s in the midst of a conversation it just head nods and innocence gazes. seemingly when the movie starts mio hasn’t really found her way in the world. she still lives at home under the guidance of her grandmother.
i got the feeling that her family was very understanding of mio and her timidness. they just accept her for who she it. anywhere else in the world they may have got to a doctor and say, “something wrong with my daughter.” even while watching a question if there was something wrong with mio, thank you western medicine. in this world is people who don’t fit into a certain set of parameters are sent to the doctor to be “fixed”. but beautifully for mio she just allowed to be her.
it touched me to find a character than can unapologetically themselves and not be a huge personally like clint eastwood or Samuel l. Jackson. and no one’s trying to change her, her friends aren’t trying to make her more out going, her sister at one point just sit with her in silence as the stare off into the distance. there was a huge sense of patience for mio, she given a lot of grace and time to figure herself and find her words. as i watch i almost envied her a bit. even if she was silent no one imposed on her.
in my experience being quiet and timid can be enough to get bullied or taken advantage of. it seen as a weakness where i’m from. family member would find it rude if i didn’t speak to them, friends may take it as you’re trying to act high and mighty, like you’re too good for them. its really quite an odd phenomena when you think about it. people don’t know what to make of your silence and the easiest thing to do is thing negative of nothing.
as the movie goes on she leaves town and start to branch out a bit, she encounter so really good people. strangers and neighbors that you would want to live next to in real life. these strangers, later friends, open mio’s world and exposing her to what community can be with the right people as she help run a bath house.nothing wild and adventurous happens, there is no shoot out or revenge plot. i don’t really think there is a plot. but its great movie to watch about a young lady trying to blossom.
to watch click here: https://geo.dailymotion.com/player.html?video=x8hpf6k
oh i almost forgot, i took some screenshots of scene i thought were cool and looked good.
Burning in paradise 